Tuesday, July 05, 2011

In case you get raped...

Molestation of women and rape have always been parts of modern India. We are told what to do, how to behave, when and where to work so that our ‘modesty’ may not be violated. Be as that may, when it comes to rape victims or harassment victims, there is no set of rules one can follow to avoid character assassination. So all my sisters out there who are thinking about taking the villain to court, or who are still limping or crawling to the nearest help after the ordeal, it might do you good to remember these points.

1) If the first question is, ‘what were you doing there?’, please remember to reply that you were at the spot of the rape or harassment because you were going to buy some exotic medicine for your mother or husband or child. You might wonder why you should lie about it. But trust me, the Bharatiya Nari is not supposed to be doing anything other than sacrifice her time and effort for her loved ones. Of course, I am sure you would have seen enough films which illustrate my point.

2) Remember not to wear anything other than salwar kameez and sari for sometime after the incident. Better not wear sleeveless too. Apparently for some women, their arms function as secondary sex organs, which signal the rapacious male. Wearing anything ‘immodest’ will be a huge negative for you when it comes to public support.

3) Always cry. When you look into the camera, tear up. Wobble your chin like the actresses from the sixties' movies. Take acting classes if necessary. (It goes for all the potential rapees.) Throw around the hint that your husband doesn’t want you or that nobody will marry you now.

4) Make sure that you sell one of your kidneys. You will need a very good team of lawyers, need daily therapy to help you face the court, police and the media. But of course, if you come from a well-off back ground, I guess the easiest way to justice would be to kidnap the guy and cut off the tools of the crime perpetration rather than face all the pantomime.

5) Are you good looking? How young are you? The younger and the better your looks are, the more sympathy you will get. There is no greater joy for our male patriarchs than to aid a beautiful damsel in distress. Let’s face it. If you are in your thirties or forties, you have already been in bed with a guy or two and have had all the action and might as well be considered a washed up hag with no sexual future. You should consider that point before you pursue the case.

6) If you were a virgin before the incident, it would be better if you get a certificate from a doctor that your hymen broke during the rape. Our society needs no more proof that the rapist(s) was/were vile creature(s). Oh, the horror to have broken the seal of virginity of a young maiden!

7) Do you have a boyfriend? Break up, break up, break up. The press will be all over that, portray you as a woman of loose morals. But of course, there is always the chance of your boyfriend describing every romantic moment you ever had to the media. Also try and be sure he doesn’t have any videos and pictures of you in any Abharathiya Nari positions. Don't even think about going to the police if you have a girlfriend.

8) Since this is the age of the internet and everyone is on Google search through Facebook, it would be extremely prudent to wipe off your entire set of pictures from the net, especially ones in which you are having a good time with your male friends or the ones where you are laughing with your mouth open. Shame shame, very loose woman.

9) Now this is a very important point to remember even if I have kept it for the last. Teach your family and friends the art of looking at empty space as if they are zombies.

If you have got all the above criteria intact, then take a long deep breath, pop in a nerve relaxant, walk into the police station and hope you don’t get raped there again.


Vaani Manoja said...

humorous as it is, it is sadly very close to the truth. good read.

Anonymous said...

true.. atleast for a more of us than not

Express said...

Ah! Sad sad fact of our society!
Thoroughly enjoyed your post though :)

Anonymous said...

The post rightly conveys the message.

But it is indeed very depressing for A MAN to know that a few sick men can destroy the whole clan. I m am man and I never forget that I was born out of a woman. A woman who had the courage to nourish me for 9 months in her womb. A woman who helped me with my studies, in spite of not knowing a word of it. A woman who showered all her unconditional love just to see me smile. A woman I call mother.

But then, the world wouldn't have been the same if all of us perceived things the same way.