on woman part 1

So, yes, I muse again. This time I’m going to extrapolate me into society. Not as a person, but as a woman. I wondered today what is the deepest issue I’ve faced as a woman and I realized that it was simply… being me. Its not that I’m not allowed to do that. But, ironically what I thought was freedom was continuously holding me back. As a woman I’ve had to reckon many forces. The immediate environment which molded me most, the broader universe which needs me in various ways, the intellectual and emotional expectations of loved ones and of course my conflicts. A very health balance of all these has been very hard to obtain. At first, I thought I had to shun society to be me. But as I evolved, I came to realize it is not society I should shun, but rather the factors which could impede my growth. As a result of this, I found that the broader universe needed me as much as I needed it. Then there were the intellectual expectations. At one stage of my life, I was entirely focused on how to be the good everything to everyone that I lost focus on myself. And as I found myself again, I begin to wonder how an ordinary woman who is not even aware of this balancing act responds to both the internal as well as external stimuli. From when she is born, she is brought up with certain duties and expectations. When her parents ‘entrust’ her with a man, he has certain expectations. So, in this tussle, it is only natural that she forgets two very important points. How to be herself and how to fulfill her potential and duties to the wider world. Come on, if we were here just as the cosmic firewood towards heat death of the universe and these brains useless, why don’t we commit mass suicide? I believe that though we aren’t born with a predefined purpose to serve god, we choose to serve ourselves. That’s the pinnacle of evolution. These brains which have developed over these millions of years, they aren’t just there to pump out electro chemical signals which serve no use to the world. But anyway, that’s not the point here. (You know I digress when I muse.) The point here is that one half of the population is denied this choice. A choice by which we can be much more than what we even choose to be, a choice by which the world becomes more balanced in all the senses. Alright so fine, we are denied the choice. But what if one day she became aware of that choice? What is the role of the forces then? How can she balance herself? And what is the reference point? Let’s marinate in the questions for a while. Because I need to find those answers too.